"I'm Not The Same"

If you know me at all, you'd know that I kinda hate poetry. Especially if it rhymes. But here's a poem written by a Semester at Sea alum that my resident director, Terrie Tran, read to the Bering Sea at our last (and very heartfelt) final meeting. It sums everything up pretty darn well. So as I go on into my final days on the MV Explorer, between all the finals and packing and preparation, I hope to reflect just like this.


"IʼM NOT THE SAME."
By Natalie Lou Ritter

Forgive me, Mom, Iʼm Not the Same
I think you knew that I would change
I couldnʼt stay so long at sea
And not come home a different me.

Iʼve been to the Mekong; the Amazon, too
The things that Iʼve done: if only you knew.
Iʼve paraglided in the Andes Mountains
Said a prayer at Hiroshima fountains
Iʼve jumped off of cliffs down river gorges
And from the Ganges saw burning corpses
Iʼve seen the Taj; Climbed the Great Wall
Iʼve Jumped Out of Planes; Iʼve done it All
Climbed to the Golden Rock in Myanmar
I Donʼt think I ever have climbed that far.
Monasteries, Pagodas, Temples and Shrines
Horseback riding in Stellenbosch; sampling wines
I dove with sharks and jumped off a bridge
I Forced Myself to Really Live.

Sure, All these things can be relayed
In the photo albums thatʼll be displayed
But to convey all this will be demanding—
Experience is Nothing Without Understanding.

So Forgive me, Mom, if I Start To Cry
For all of the things I really canʼt describe:
Walking next to dead bodies in the road
Not reaching out to a childʼs hand to hold.
The people in poverty and those afraid to speak
For fear if they do, theyʼll be in jail the next week
Because their government has such a watchful eye.
All the people with AIDS, getting ready to die.
The beggars in India who walk on their hands
Because theyʼre diseased and unable to stand
And the people in shacks who sleep inches apart
Offer only a smile and it rips out my heart

Iʼve seen beauty and devastation
Iʼve felt sorrow; Iʼve felt elation
Iʼve seen birth and Iʼve felt death;
Forgive me, Mom, but what is left?

So if you could, Mom, just give me time
When I come home, let me unwind
I need a moment to just. Stand. Still.
Please understand (Iʼm sure you will)

I couldnʼt stay so long at sea
And not come home a different me
So long as I change, the world changes, too
But be proud, Mom, because I came from you.